Welcome to Ann Arbor Abbey
Welcome to lovely and historic Ann Arbor Abbey, home of Weasel Breweries. Founded in 1993, Weasel Breweries is the most hyped nanobrewery in existence, and for good reasons, though these escape me at the moment.
Soliloquy On This Year's Feast of St. Attila
If we are marked to drink, we are enow
-- by Athos and Pyehole
On The Abbey
Ann Arbor Abbey is home to a loose confederacy of self-congratulatory, monastic sots whose sole, corporate objective (compulsively pursued) is to produce hooch of surpassing spiritual potency, Epicurean quality, and purportedly minimal expense. Many among the laity question the validity of our mission, but as St. Attila, founder of the Attilan Fraternal Order of Brewers Minor, once said during a cross-eyed address to the International Brotherhood of Teamsters, "It beats working for a living! Pour me another, will ya Hoffa, ya marvelous commie pig... now where'd he disappear to... oh, there he is. No wait, that's Nipsey Russell... I gotta get some new drugs!"
Each week, the Monks of Ann Arbor Abbey meet to hold Vespers: a vicious pagan ritual loosely balanced on the age-old doctrinal tripod of brewing, drinking and flagrantly lying to any man, woman, child, or rough facsimile of humanity that will hold still. Membership in the Attilan Fraternal Order of Brewers Minor is by invitation only and is limited to men (being defined as people who say they are men and bring us beer and other stuff). If you would like to apply, write your name on your left buttock and chant "There's no place like home" backwards until we call.
On Using This Website
Observe the Monks of Ann Arbor Abbey at their daily chores: brewing, drinking... brewing. And extensive reading, of course, since monastic life consists of little more than brewing, drinking and reading. And Eating. Not bad, really.
Be sure to meet the Monks of Ann Arbor Avenue before leaving. If they're not around, rifle through their desks and read their mail and steal their loose change. Ask them about life, love and ham. Query at will about brewing beer and making mead. There's no need to steal recipes, cause the Monks are giving it all away for free, according the Rule of St. Attila. Check out the beers and enjoy a stroll through the Weasel Breweries marketing department, but don't even think about stealing the Monks' trademarks; Abbot Athos and Brother Pyehole are rabidly litigious and highly argumentative old coots.
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To comment, complain or confess, send email to the Monks of Ann Arbor Abbey.
Copyright © 1997-2011 Kirk R. Humphries and Sandy Marshall. All rights reserved. Weasel Breweries, Monks of Ann Arbor Abbey, and Olde Pyehole are trademarks of Kirk Humphries and Sandy Marshall. And so is a lot of other stuff. So there.
Last update: 29 August 2011